4:27 AM

taken from here

"The Beerbelly



This ingenious device is being billed as the Beer Belly for the male market. Hidden under clothing it'll look like your average beer gut but in actual fact it is a neoprene storage device with a polyurethane bladder for your beer. It'll hold up to 2.3 litres of beverage and comes with a drinking tube and an optional freezer pack to keep it cold.

Obviously being women and probably not that attracted to beer guts, I've thought up a great alternative use. Stick under your top before climbing on the tube or bus and everyone will think you are pregnant."

4:25 AM
4:24 AM
4:23 AM
1:49 AM



this guy is insane.. here's his blog




the little girl giant woke up one morning, got a shower from the sultan's elephant, and wandered off to play in the park

it boggles my mind bc i swear her facial expressions change and are just perfect.

12:54 AM
12:53 AM



remember kids.. its down, not across

12:52 AM
6:01 PM


that'll show him.

5:53 PM
5:53 PM

32 worst lyrics of all time



from the phoenix.com

THE SONG: LFO, “Summer Girls”
THE LYRIC: “New Kids On the Block had a bunch of hits / Chinese food makes me sick / And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer, for the summer.”
THE VERDICT: We would print out the whole song, but we threw up after they rhymed “speakin’” with “Alex P. Keaton.”

THE SONG: Avril Lavigne, "Sk8r Boi"
THE LYRIC: “He was a boy, she was a girl / Can I make it any more obvious.”
THE VERDICT: Ma’am, could you make it a bit more obvious? We’re not all sophisticated like y’all Degrassi-watching Canadians. By the way, it's been pointed out before, but we've never known a "Sk8tr Boi" who had anything resembling girl trouble.

THE SONG: Chubb Rock, “ Mr. Large”
THE LYRIC: “Like Mario Puzo, I'm The Don. W-W-I'M-THE-SHIT-DOT-COM”
THE VERDICT: We keep trying to get to this website. Keep getting error messages. Oh, wait. Yeah, he only says two Ws. The last W was obviously being reserved for “what the fuck?”

THE SONG: Spice Girls, “Wannabe”
THE LYRIC: "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends”
THE VERDICT: Okay, no guy is going to say no to that (as long as Gerri turns the lights off).
THE OTHER LYRIC: “Make it last forever. Friendship never ends”
THE VERDICT: Okay, girl power, we get it. Don’t really see how it has anything to do with us guys, but fine.
STILL MORE LYRIC: “If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give”
THE VERDICT: Alright, now it’s getting a little annoying. I’m fucking all four of your friends, like you told me to in the first line. What else do you want?
THE FINAL LYRIC: "Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is.”
THE VERDICT: Slam your body down and zigazig ah, indeed. And yeah, we know, 1996 called and they want their jokes back.

more..


uhh.. lifetime? that channel plays crap shows i've never heard of.. and if anyone is actually french, they'd know that REAL bistros aren't good places.. and i don't mind the superbowl as long as there's beer for me.

for those who cant see the right side its
fight for her
protect her
tell her there is no other
watch lifetime television with her
always listen to her
turn off the superbowl for her
gladly eat in restaurants with the word "bistro" in their name for her


that would be fun too

3:50 PM


we're all going to be stuck at home one day, with only enough money to spend on gas to go to school/work

A Quiz for People Who Know Everything!!!

These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn’t been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in Standard English begin with the letters “dw” and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter “S.”





Answers To Quiz:

1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends… Boxing
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward. Niagara Falls (The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.)
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons… Asparagus and Rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside… Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. (The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.)
6. Three English words beginning with dw. Dwarf, Dwell and Dwindle.
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar… period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation marks, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh… Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with “S” … shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.

2:31 AM

finally.. made to fit in your refridgerator


link

2:23 AM

just 'cause i'm a gamer girl

* Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
* Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
* Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
* Straight marriage has been around long time and hasn’t changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can’t marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
* Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears’ 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
* Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn’t be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren’t full yet, and the world needs more children.
* Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
* Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That’s why we have only one religion in America.
* Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That’s why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
* Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven’t adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

source

if you don't get the sarcasm that's too bad.

3:58 PM



for you houston people.. that's fu kim lol.. that is the old baybrook mall location.. i wonder who did this photoshop.. wasn't me! but i was surprised when i found it lol.

3:35 PM

wanna call someone from someone else's number and use a robotic voice to say whatever you want?

phone trick

3:06 PM

some strange deaths - source

- A 31-year-old computer game addict collapsed and died on 6 March at his screen in Chengdu in the western Chinese province of Sichuan, after playing the online game Saga for 20 hours, according to the South China Morning Post. He had Been playing the game regularly at the Internet cafe, where an employee said he would often play for more than 10 hours a day. The Press (Christchurch , NZ), 10 Mar 2004.

- Thavky chaiya, 68, died in northern Thailand after eating a large amount of durian, a pungent fruit can overheat the body's metabolism. Villagers told The Nation newspaper that he suddenly called for water and then fell to the floor convulsing. He died on the way to hospital. Sydney Morning Herald, 4 June 2004.

in case you didn't know, durian is also known as sầu riêng in vietnamese.. that's some damn stinky fruit. my dad's sisters eat it like every week. i've heard of people dying from it falling on their heads because the fruit is spikey, but not from eating it.

- A man at a fish sauce factory in the Vietnamese coastal town of Phan Thiet , 118 miles (190km) northeast of Ho Chi Minh City , fell into a sauce tank on 21 October 2002. Four other workers, including the man's wife, tried to rescue him but were overcome by fumes from the fermenting fish. All five lay at the bottom of the 7.2ft (2.2m) tank for some time before being dragged out. One of the rescuers, a 34-year-old man, died after being taken to the Binh Thuan hospital. Reuters 22 Oct 2002.

- Jean-Louis Toubon, 44, choked to death when pieces of his girlfriend's edible knickers got stuck in his throat in Marseilles , France . Sun, 22 May 2003.

- Shelves stacked 30ft (10m) high with garlic collapsed and killed l5 workers at a cold-storage warehouse in central China on 5 May 2004. The accident in Zhengzhou city, Henan province, buried more than 30 employees under a pile of garlic shoots and broken shelving. Nineteen were injured. Associated Press 7 May 2004.

it wasn't an accident.. they were vampires.

2:44 PM

cool shirt



reflect upon yourself.

2:38 PM

wanna change the earth's orbit?



link


interesting concept.. not likely something 600 million people will remember to do.

2:25 PM



apparently this cool little dude scared children in mexico.. i wouldn't mind having one of these usb teddy bear

3:49 PM

Ashlee Simpson- Not too many people know about this, but if you rearrange the letters in her name, you get “So Ha, Semen Lips.” It’s an ingenious way to really sum up her only talent, because I know for a fact her music isn’t it. - freak safari personally i don't see how anyone finds her attractive. the clef chin and the personality completely throws it off, and not to mention the music. her entire career should have died after that lip syncing mishap on saturday night live. between the two sisters i'd have to say jessica has the most talent, she is more attractive, even though she used butt pads in her movie. she's just a moron, good for nick lachey.. he was too good for her. he did everything for her and planned surprises and all she could do was whine and act like a baby.
jessica simpson - moron 1
jessica simpson - moron 2

12:52 PM

hey this is pretty cool

7:57 PM

dave chappelle was too funny. now carlos mencia has taken his time slot. did you know that he's not even mexican? he's half german and half hondurian and, his real name is ned holness. he's a joke theif... he stole about 13 mins of material from George Perez for his HBO special. george punched him out for stealing a chunk of his act.

yeah he's funny, but he kind of overdoes it. dave chappelle needs to come back. who cares what whoopi goldberg and bill cosby have to say, that is, if you believe the chappelle theory

6:32 PM

well, this is my new blog page..

i'll start you off with some 9/11 conspiracy





credited to mikedizzle

its worth the watch.